Questions from Our Readers

The question mentioned above is an abridged version of a longer email I received with questions about selfloathing vs. self-confidence and the place of both in light of true conviction of sin—questions like: can true conviction of sin, true humility, true abhorring of self still go together with a humble recognition of talents, a healthy self-esteem, and so on. Must we loath ourselves or the sin in self? What did Christ mean when He gave the summary of the Law where it states that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves?

What did Paul mean when he said, “O wretched man that I am?”

There is no doubt that matters like these can cause confusion. I think the matter especially becomes confusing and complicated when a psychologist counsels a matter like this as a pastor, and the pastor does so as a psychologist. Conclusion? Neither one is doing what he is supposed to do. Therefore, let the office bearer stay with Scripture and the psychologist with the textbook, but let us never try to mix or reconcile the two. Many a dilemma has been encountered where the counselor seeks to break down what the pastoral counselor has tried to build. I am convinced that our denomination would be well served if there were more professional help available which could work together constructively with office bearers in pastoral counseling.

It truly can become a deep struggle when matters of the heart and feelings of the mind begin to cross paths. Is feeling “down” about yourself the same as conviction of sin? Wherein is true conviction of sin different and unique from extreme and excessive low self-esteem? Can someone who is under saving conviction of sin still have a healthy self-esteem? The list of such questions is long. Below, I wrote down a few initial thoughts and observations which came to mind:

1. We must not confuse character and personality as the standard or gauge for what is true conviction of sin. In other words, a person who is naturally downcast compared with a person who has a more upbeat spirit or personality is not therefore a more suitable or more genuine person to receive grace. We all have sinned and all have come short of the glory of God.

2. There are degrees in the depths of conviction in which one may be led over against another who may be led more gradually and calmly.

3. When the mind is ill and needs help (e.g., medication or therapy), it is often difficult to distinguish between what is true experience of biblical truths and what is related to one’s psychological condition. Here I would advise to exercise restraint and caution. On the one hand, something genuine and real may be mistaken or even trampled upon while, on the other hand, something that is merely a matter of the mind may be mistaken for the work of God.

4. Remember, also, that true conviction, self-loathing, and a true sense of humility is not about self in the first place but about sin. It is not merely feeling down or bad about oneself but rather having the right view on how the Lord views sin and reveals this in His Word. It is clearly evident in biblical examples of conviction, repentance, faith etc. that the matter focused on what sin was and had caused. Think of Psalter 140: I have sinned against Thy grace and provoked Thee to Thy face, etc.

5. In biblical conviction of sin, there is always godly sorrow over sin which seeks the grace of God in Christ (2 Corinthians 7:10). What is so precious in this sorrow is that it does not merely grieve over the consequences of sin but especially the cause of it and that it works repentance to salvation! Godly sorrow has God as its origin and object and not man. The sorrow of the world does not produce such grief. It turns to self and seeks a solution in self, ultimately. King Saul said to Samuel, “Honor me now…before the elders of the people…”

6. True conviction—next to owning one’s guilt and bowing under God’s righteous punishment—always seeks the grace of God in Christ by whom alone communion with God can be restored. Think of Lord’s Day 5 of the Heidelberg Catechism. Is there no way by which we may escape that punishment, and be again received into favor? It clearly goes against Scripture and the gospel to assert that one has to complete certain requirements (negatively in feelings or positively in virtues) in order to qualify for divine help and grace. The Lord does not help man based on qualities in self but only because He is moved in Himself.

7. I think it is important to point out that a true, genuine, and biblical conviction of sin is not the result of, neither can be compared to the result of, a psychological exam. In psychology the analysis of the mind is central. In grace it is an undeserved wonder. Psychology deals with the mind–body while the work of God deals with the heart, in a deeply spiritual sense. I think it is very important to keep this differentiated.

In closing, I would like to come back to Paul’s exclamation mentioned earlier: “O wretched man that I am…” Matthew Henry keenly points out that this either refers to the body of flesh as troubled with corruption because of sin, or the old man, the corrupt nature which tends to death, that is, to the ruin of the soul. Hence, also here, there is clearly a reference to the godly sorrow after God over sin, and not simply one’s feeling down about his body or bad about himself. Also, Charles Hodge speaks along the same lines when he explains in the same text that when Paul next writes about the victory for which he gives thanks (Romans 7:25), he does not mean the freedom from the body but deliverance from sin.

I realize that this is a delicate, comprehensive, and rather complicated subject. I hope it will give some direction in recognizing and discerning a deep matter because I think there are many people struggling with it. It is always wise and prudent to bring questionable matters like this one before the Lord in prayer. A good thought to ponder is: Is my case about self or is it about sin? Am I more concerned about self than I am about having grieved the Lord? “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” For further study I recommend the book by Rev. P. Van Ruitenburg, The Feelings of Faith, where many of these issues are dealt with in more depth.

Send your questions to: Rev. H. Hofman, 2339 Deer Trail Dr. NE, Grand Rapids, MI 49505, or hofman@premieronline.net.

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