A Letter Of Rev. van Reenen

I was just like someone who had obtained something very desirable for his possession, but could not show the legal proof. As long as the Lord would just be good to me, as long as He enlightened me with His light, then I was happy, but if it became dark, then it was all wrong again. This lasted about five years or so. During this time the Lord called me to the office of pastor and teacher, won me over, and installed me into that office. (However, this I will pass over; perhaps I will write to you about this later sometime, if the Lord stirs me up to do so).

Then, after those five years of faith and fear, the Lord came to present me with those desired papers. How this took place I am going to tell you briefly. It was getting close to the time of our glorious Pentecost, the feast of the Holy Spirit. So I had to preach about the Holy Spirit. I had done that before, also spoken much about it, but I did not know Him. Now, however, I would come to know Him. I received a pain in my side, quite severe, and had to go to bed. There I received meditation upon how everything which the Lord had created, He had created good. However, man also had called something into being — that was sin. Yes, that terrible sin existed because of us. I saw sin as a thorn, as a wild weed; with my own hand I had brought that sin into the field of my heart, and now that pain in my side was a consequence of it.

Immediately these words fell into my heart with power, “Thine anger is turned away, and Thou comfortedst me” (Isaiah 12:1b). My spirit was drawn away, and there I saw that sweet, precious Lord Jesus, my precious Jesus; yes, there I saw Him whom my soul loveth, glorified at the right hand of God. Oh, how my soul went out to Him, to be with Him and to stay with Him forever! And, oh wonder, now I saw, I felt, I heard how that sweet Jesus was also filled with panting desire to have me with Him. Oh, it was to me as if I felt that Jesus did not feel Himself to be complete as long as He did not have me with Him. (Before this I knew that the Lord had a people on earth that sighed after Him and dearly longed to be with Him, but now I realized that the Lord in heaven, with panting desire, also waits for that moment when He may take His bride into His arms.) Oh, how my soul’s love melted into one with that of Jesus. We both, the Lord and I, had one love, one desire, one longing, but we both also must wait for that moment determined in God’s counsel. And then, with those words, “Thou comfortedst me,” my eye was opened for that third Person in the adorable Trinity, the Holy Spirit. It was He who comforted me. I feit His indwelling in my heart. I saw as clearly as day how it was He who comforted me. Yes, there I saw how the Father had ordained a cup of salvation (that is blessedness) for me already from eternity, how the Son had merited that for me by His life, suffering, and death, but how it now was the Holy Spirit who had prepared me for that salvation and made me to drink from that cup. I had never known that before, never noticed it. I saw how the Holy Spirit had always kept Himself hidden, how He had let the light fall upon the Father first, and then upon the Son. I became aware of how the Holy Spirit had delighted Himself where my soul glorifies the Father and the Son. Now the full light fell upon Him. What love! What a flame of dear, holy, blissful love unto that Holy Spirit then started to burn in my soul. My soul only cried out, “Dear Spirit! sweet Spirit! beloved Spirit!” Yes, I could find no names which could express what I felt for that sweet Spirit. And there I now had my receipt, the seal of my right to the inheritance, the earnest of God’s love, of Jesus’ faithfulness, my passport to heaven. (You will certainly believe, will you not, that before this I could never preach about the Holy Spirit as I could at the next Pentecost?) Yes, then I went (to speak by comparison) as a full-fledged war ship with sail and rigging into the great world ocean, and then my ship cut through the waves. I could sing with the poet of Psalm 46:2 (Psalter 126:1), “Yea, though the mighty billows shake, etc.”

And now, what do you think is left of that proud war ship of thirteen years ago? A wreck, with sails torn off, broken masts, sealed cannons, and without a rudder. How has that ship lost its sail and rigging? How is the gold become so dim? How is the crown so overturned? Yes, how? One thing still remains to me! With clear weather, in the distance, I still see a beacon (2 Peter 1:19). There in the distance I still see a banner flying, on which I read: “God is Faithful! God is Faithful!” But this is only legible to me when it is light, therefore I end with the sigh:

Send forth, O Lord of my salvation,
Thy light and truth to be my guide,
O let their rays in my privation,
Lead me unto Thy habitation,
Where ‘neath Thy wings I’ll be supplied
With grace Thou wilt provide.

Yes! then:

Then at Thy sacred altar bending
My heart to God in prayer I’ll raise,
With harp and voice, in worship blending,
Thy courts resound, while psalms ascending.

Then! Yes, then!

But now, now: “Why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”

Last night the Lord was pleased to show me in these stanzas that my condition was biblical, to my comfort and gladness. I read in stanza 2 of Psalter 119 (Psalm 43:2) my condition, in stanza 3 (Psalm 43:3) my sigh, in stanza 4 (Psalm 43:4) my expectation.

Now, have I not satisfied your request most unexpectedly? I would not have written this to you had the Lord not stirred me up to do it. He led me back once more along the whole way which He has held with me from Shittim to Gilgal, and I do not regret having written this. I very rarely speak about my experience; perhaps I have done it too little. Might this writing yet work out something good, to the honor of the Lord.

I remain, wishing you grace, your friend and brother in the Lord.

Deze tekst is geautomatiseerd gemaakt en kan nog fouten bevatten. Digibron werkt voortdurend aan correctie. Klik voor het origineel door naar de pdf. Voor opmerkingen, vragen, informatie: contact.

Op Digibron -en alle daarin opgenomen content- is het databankrecht van toepassing. Gebruiksvoorwaarden. Data protection law applies to Digibron and the content of this database. Terms of use.

Printen