A Converted Jew (10)

When the physician came I told him how cruelly I had been treated by the nurse and related to him the circumstance. She, of course, told her side of the story also. The physician told her to use kindness, not force, knowing I was a foreigner and a Jew. The Lord was pleased to bless the means to my recovery, and I soon left the hospital. The watchful eye of the great Shepherd of Israel was upon me even when I was still a blasphemer.

My brother and I, upon leaving Bristol, travelled in various parts of the country. We were so strict in our religion that we often went for three and four months at a time without tasting meat, not being within the reach of a Jewish butcher. We lived chiefly on fish, eggs, bread and butter, since cheese was also prohibited. At the different inns where we stayed we used our own saucepans and utensils. Our names were written in Hebrew on the inside to prevent their being used or defiled by anyone besides ourselves. This way of living undermined our health considerably.

My brother and I lived on most affectionate terms; we were as one soul. On one occasion my brother had to go to London, leaving me in Wiltshire. While in London he heard a great deal about America and decided to go there. He wrote to me to that effect. I wrote to him that I would go with him if he would meet me at Warminster in Wiltshire. I was obliged to leave Warminster on business for two weeks and left my address with my landlord. If my brother should come, my landlord was supposed to give him my address so he could write to me, and I would return immediately. Soon after I had left, my brother came to Warminster but the landlord had lost or mislaid my address; therefore my brother could not write to me. He waited for one week and as I did not return, was obliged to leave for Liverpool because the ship on which he had engaged passage sailed at a certain time.

On my return to Warminster my landlord told me what had transpired and that my brother was gone. This was the greatest trial that I had ever experienced, even greater than when I first left home; I never expected to see him again. The first few days I ate very little and did not sleep at all. My rebellion was very great under this providence. I made an attempt two or three times to follow him, but each time something occurred to prevent me. Here, my dear reader, I can see the mysterious ways of God’s providence, and can say with the poet Cowper:

God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform,
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

The Angel of the everlasting covenant watched over me on land and sea, like the Israelites of old in the wilderness. He brought me to England and then watched over me that I should not leave that country, and we shall see the reason as we continue with our narrative.

A Bitter Trial

After my brother had been gone about eighteen months, I went to London on business. One morning I went to a Jewish inn and sat down at a table. Two gentlemen were seated at the opposite end. I heard one say to the other that he had just come from New York. Hearing that, and knowing my brother was there, I listened more attentively. He went on to say that the same week he left New York for England, a very shocking thing had occurred: A young man whom he knew well was burned to death. He also said that the young man had a brother in England. The other gentleman enquired his name. Upon hearing my brother’s name mentioned, I immediately fainted and fell from my seat. When I regained consciousness, I told them it was my brother who he said had burned to death. The American, seeing the effect it had on me, tried to withdraw his statement, but finding he could not, he related to me the circumstances surrounding his death.

It appeared that when my brother arrived at New York, he joined in partnership with another Jew in a large business in which they were very prosperous. One evening my brother and his partner had been to the theater, and had had too much to drink. They retired each to their separate sleeping rooms. It was supposed that my brother forgot to put out his candle and in consequence the house was set on fire. The rest of the residents escaped, but he was burned to death. The gentleman told me that he left a good deal of property — it was all insured — and that if I went to America, I could claim it. But I felt too much oppressed with grief to trouble myself about his property. The death of my dear brother brought me into a low, despondent state which lasted for six months; I could scarcely attend to business.

— ES

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