A Converted Jew (6)

A Dreadful Disappointment

My uncle having obtained a passport for us, Israel and I left Konigsburg on foot for Frankfort-on-the-Older, where we stayed two weeks. It was customary for all strangers who enter the town, with the purpose of staying one night or more, to deliver their passports to the mayor. When they planned to leave, the mayor usually returned them. When we asked for our passports, the mayor addressed himself to me, saying that I must return to my native country since I was a runaway. He wrote this information specifically on my passport. At the same time Israel received his passport which enabled him to continue his journey. This news so terrified me that I could say nothing. After I left the office, I accused Israel of informing against me, and he confessed that he had done so the day before. Thus we parted, and I told him that his sin would find him out and that God would punish him, since I was the means of getting him his passport. In the end it turned out that way. He committed suicide a few years later in London.

The thought of returning home by myself, and the treachery of my companion, filled me with such horror and distress that for a whole day I could neither eat nor drink, and did nothing but cry. Having my phylacteries1 and Hebrew prayer book with me, and remembering the advice of my grandfather, I prayed to the God of Israel to support, strengthen and deliver me, since I was young and in a strange country. This return reminds me of my spiritual pilgrimage. Sometimes I felt that I was advancing in the divine life, pressing homeward towards the heavenly Canaan, while at other times I felt I was going backward and covering the same ground step by step, mourning by reason of my sin and darkness of soul. The apostle Paul had to go to Rome to preach the everlasting gospel. Although his journey was rough, he arrived safely. This was my case too. I had to preach the everlasting gospel in England; therefore nothing could hinder me. Satan is permitted to do many things, but the Lord works all for the good of His people.

Through the covenant mercy of my God, I again reached my uncle’s home at Konigsburg. He was greatly surprised to see me. He told me to relax; he would get me another passport, which he did. I then stayed with my uncle for one month, after which I informed him that I should like to proceed on my journey to England. He advised me to go to Danzig by water. He kindly paid my fare and provided me with every necessity for my journey.

In Peril by Sea

There is always a certain path we must tread, ordered by the God of providence. Mine was to be a trying one; therefore I could not escape appointed trouble by sea anymore than by land. On crossing the Gulf of Danzig we encountered a violent storm. The vessel was loaded with wheat, which we were obliged to cast overboard into the sea. The main mast and rudder were destroyed and the captain discovered a leak in the vessel. The sailors and passengers alternately had to pump water out, day and night, expecting every moment to sink. There were a great number of adult passengers of both sexes, and some children whose cries and lamentations were heartrending. They were all strangers to me, and I had to keep my peculiar grief to myself. The captain told us there was no hope of escape; we must perish. The signal of distress was hoisted.

One night we were informed that a vessel was approaching us. This afforded no small joy but, it was too far away, they did not see us. The next morning the captain told us that we were drawing near to a port and should soon meet other ships. That same day a vessel came to our assistance and all of our passengers were taken on board. After we were on board we began to feel the effects of fright and want of food; many, including myself, were very ill. At length we arrived safely at Danzig. The day after we arrived at Danzig, I heard that the vessel we were rescued from had sunk. Here again I had cause to erect an Ebenezer to my covenant God and Father who once more plucked me like a brand from that abyss where hope never comes.

My dear reader, since I was quickened by the Spirit of God, my soul has had to encounter many storms. Often I am tossed with tempests, and not comforted. Sometimes I am tossed with the storms of indwelling sin and corruption, sometimes with doubts and fears, almost despairing of life. At other times there is darkness, and God’s countenance is hidden from me. Sometimes I fall under presumption and pride, which makes me exclaim, “Save me, O God, for the waters are come in unto my soul. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.” How distressing it is to a living soul when he cannot feel himself standing upon the Rock of eternal ages, when no promise is applied by the Spirit of God to his soul! These things I must experience: tossed sometimes by the north wind, and at other times by the south. But hitherto hath the Lord helped me. Blessed be His Name!

I stayed in Danzig for a month. I resolved to see a little of the country instead of taking a direct course to England. Having heard of Leipzig, I made up my mind to go there; I proceeded on toot. My journey to Leipzig made an impression on my mind never to be forgotten. Arriving one Friday afternoon at a small town to spend the Sabbath, (as it is prohibited for Jews to travel on that day), I went in the evening to the synagogue and was warmly welcomed by my Jewish brethren. One, a very rich man and the head of the synagogue, invited me to spend the Sabbath with him. The next day, as we were conversing, he enquired as to where I was going. I told him to Leipzig. He then said if I would stay until Monday, which was market day, I could cross the river easily, since then there would be ships sailing back and forth.

This would save me a day’s journey. I thanked him and took his advice.

1See Matthew 23:5. These phylacteries were small cases containing strips of parchment on which were written four passages of Scripture. They were bound on the forehead and the arm according to the Jewish understanding of Exodus 13:16.

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