ACCOUNT OF THE REV. JOHN COWPER, M.A.

By his brother, (the poet)

(Continued from last month)

In the evening, when I went to bid him good night, he looked steadfastly in my face, and with great solemnity in his air and manner, taking me by the hand, resumed the discourse in these very words, “ ‘As empty, and yet full; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things’ — I see the rock upon which I once split, and I see the Rock of salvation. I have peace in myself, and if I live, I hope it will be that I may be a messenger of peace to others. I have learned that in a moment which I could not have learned by reading many books for many years. I have often studied these points, and studied them with great attention, but was blinded by prejudice; and unless He, who alone is ‘worthy to unloose the seals, had opened the book to me, I had been blinded still. Now they appear so plain, that though I am convinced no comment could ever have made me understand them, I wonder I did not see them before. Yet, great as my doubts and difficulties were, they have only served to pave the way; and being solved, they make it plainer. The light I have received comes late, but it is a comfort to me that I never made the gospel truths a subject of ridicule. Though I dissented from the persuasion and the ways of God’s people, I ever thought them respectable, and therefore not proper to be made a jest of. The evil I suffer is the consequence of my descent from the corrupt original stock, and of my own personal transgressions; the good I enjoy comes to me as the overflowing of His bounty; but the crown of all His mercies is this, that He has given me a Saviour, and not only the Saviour of mankind, brother, but my Saviour. I should delight to see the people at Olney, but am not worthy to appear amongst them.” He wept at speaking these words, and repeated them with emphasis. “I should rejoice in an hour’s conversation with Mr. Newton, and if I live, shall have much discourse with him upon these subjects, but am so weak in body, that at present I could not bear it.”

At the same time he gave me to understand that he had been five years enquiring after the truth, that is, from the time of my first visit to him after I left St. Albans; and that, from the very day of his ordination, which was ten years ago, he had been dissatisfied with his own views of the gospel, and sensible of their defect and obscurity; that he had always had a sense of the importance of the ministerial charge, and had used to consider himself accountable for his doctrine no less than his practice; that he could appeal to the Lord for his sincerity in all that time, and had never wilfully erred, but always been desirous of coming to the knowledge of the truth. He added, that the moment when he sent forth that cry (on the 10th of March) was the moment when light was darted into his soul; that he had thought much about these things in the course of his illness, but never till that instant was able to understand them.

It was remarkable that, from the very instant when he was first enlightened, he was also wonderfully strengthened in body, so that from the 10th to the 14th of March we all entertained sanguine hopes of his recovery. He was himself very confident in his expectations of it, but frequently said that his desire of recovery extended no farther than his hope of usefulness; adding, “Unless I may live to be an instrument of good to others, it were better for me to die now.”

As his assurance was clear and unshaken, so he was very sensible of the goodness of the Lord to him in that respect. On the day when his eyes were opened, he turned to me, and in a low voice, said, “What a mercy it is to a man in my condition to know his acceptance! I am completely satisfied of mine.” On another occasion, speaking to the same purpose, he said, “This bed would be a bed of misery and it is so; but it is likewise a bed of joy and a bed of discipline. Were I to die this this night, I know I should be happy. This assurance, I hope, is quite consistent with the Word of God. It is built upon a sense of my own utter insufficiency and the all-sufficiency of Christ.” At the same time he said, “Brother, I have been building my glory upon a sandy foundation; I have laboured night and day to perfect myself in things of no profit; I have sacrificed my health to these pursuits, and am now suffering the consequence of my mis-spent labour. But how contemptible do the writers I once valued now appear to me! Yea, doubtless, I count all things loss and dung for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord. I must now go to a new school. I have many things to learn. I succeeded in my former pursuits. I wanted to be highly applauded, and I was so. I was flattered up to the height of my wishes: now I must learn a new lesson.”

On the evening of the 13th, he said, “What comfort have I in this bed, miserable as I seem to be! Brother, I love to look at you. I see now who was right, and who was mistaken. But it seems wonderful that such a dispensation should be necessary to enforce what seems so very plain. I wish myself at Olney; you have a good river there, better than all the rivers of Damascus. What a scene is passing before me! Ideas upon these subjects crowd upon me faster than I can give them utterance. How plain do many texts appear, to which, after consulting all the commentators, I could hardly affix a meaning; and now I have their true meaning without any comment at all. There is but one key to the New Testament; there is but one Interpreter. I cannot describe to you, nor shall ever be able to describe what I felt in the moment when it was given to me. May I make a good use of it! How I shudder to think of the danger I have just escaped! I had made up my mind on these subjects, and was determined to hazard all upon the justness of my own opinions.”

Speaking of his illness, he said he had been followed night and day from the very beginning of it with this text: “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.” This notice was fulfilled to him, though not in such a sense as my desires of his recovery prompted me to put upon it. His remarkable amendment soon appeared to be no more than a present supply of strength and spirits, that he might be able to speak of the better life which God had given him, which was no sooner done than he relapsed as suddenly as he had revived. About this time he formed a purpose of receiving the sacrament, induced to it principally by a desire of setting his seal to the truth, in presence of those who were strangers to the change which had taken place in his sentiments. It would have been administered to him by the Master of the College, to whom he had designed to make this short declaration, “If I die, I die in the belief of the doctrines of the Reformation, and of the Church of England, as it was at the time of the Reformation.” But, his strength declined apace, and his pains becoming more severe, he could never find proper opportunity for doing it.

His experience was rather one of peace than of joy, if a distinction may be made between joy and that heartfelt peace which he often spoke of in the most comfortable terms, and which he expressed by a heavenly smile upon his countenance under the bitterest bodily distress. His words upon this subject once were these, “How wonderful is it that God should look upon man, especially that he should look upon me! Yet He sees me, and takes notice of all that I suffer. I see Him too; He is present before me, and I hear Him say, ‘Come unto me, all ye that are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest’ (Matt. xi. 28).”

On the 14th, in the afternoon, I perceived that the strength and spirts which had been afforded him were suddenly withdrawn, so that by the next day his mind became weak, and his speech roving and faltering. But still, at intervals, he was enabled to speak of divine things with great force and clearness. On the evening of the 15th he said, “ ‘There is more joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, than over ninety and nine just persons who need no repentance.’ That text has been sadly misunderstood by me as well as by other… Alas! what must have become of me, if I had died this day se’nnight! What should I have had to plead? My own righteousness! That would have been of great service to me, to be sure! Well, whither next? Why, to the mountains to fall upon us, and the hills to cover us. I am not duly thankful for the mercy I have received. Perhaps I may ascribe some part of my insensibility to my great weakness of body. I hope, at least, that if I were better in health, it would be better with me in these respects also.”

The next day, perceiving that his understanding began to suffer by the extreme weakness of his body, he said, “I have been vain of my understanding and of my acquirements in this place; and now God has made me little better than an idiot, as much as to say, Now be proud if you can. Well, while I have any senses left, my thoughts will be poured out in the praise of God. I have an interest in Christ, in His blood and sufferings, and my sins are forgiven me. Have I not cause to praise Him? When my understanding fails me quite, as I think it will soon, then He will pity my weakness.”

CARD OF THANKS

Our sincere thanks to all the relatives, neighbors and friends who have remembered our 50th wedding anniversary with us in words and deeds, making it truly a very memorable day for us, again THANK YOU everyone.

Mr. and Mrs. Eochus Schelling

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