THE FAMILY AND HOME IN CRISIS

The family is under pressure as never before from the inside and the outside, from one end of the world to the other. Powerful forces are at work striking at the very heart of family life, threatening its existence. The rise of nationalism, the industrial revolution, the cry for independence, new outlooks on wedlock and family rearing, have all exercised an overwhelming influence on the family way of living, rocking its very foundations.”

Down through the ages, in the Hebrew, Babylonian, Egyptian, Persian and Roman civilizations, the family changed little. But in the last hundred years of the modern world, drastic changes have swept the family circle, causing great concern.”

In those ancient civilizations agriculture was the primary way of life. The father ruled as head, and the children respected his authority. Obedience was the first rule of the home. The family had complete control over choice of marriage partner, education, place of residence and work. Women had no voice or choice but to marry and to perform the duties of marriage. Families grew up together, lived together, worked together and fought together. A good share of the recreation was at home and between families. The home was the center of religious instruction, Familes sang, prayed and worshiped together. Infidelity, and divorce were virtually unheard of. Promiscuity was considered to be breaking the seventh commandment of God’s Law. Those that did such things were sold into slavery by the family or as the children of Israel did, put the guilty offender to death.”

While none of these things have disappeared entirely from family life, yet their combined influence is not the same any more. The pattern of living has changed.”

So great have been the changes in family life in recent years that some students of the family believe that the only function left for the institution is purely sentimental and “affectional.” And a good many sociologists are of the opinion that “the family is on the way out.””

The influence of the family on the world is so important that it cannot be ignored. Many historians believe that the first factor in the downfall of the Grecian and Roman civilizations was family deterioration. And some people, fearful that such may actually happen to the Western world, advocate a return to old ways in order to save the family and the present way of life. Are their fears unfounded? What do the facts show?”

REASONS FOR CONCERN”

Within our lifetime we have seen threatening changes take place in family life. Instead of an agricultural society we have an industrial one. In the old agricultural society togetherness was possible. Families worked out in the fields together, ate their meals at home together, played and worshiped together. But in today’s industrial society most of that has been changed. Industry separates the father from his family a good portion of the waking hours of the work-week. Children spend much time away from home at school and lunch out. Recreation has become a gigantic commercial business. Religious teaching has passed out of the hands of the parents to the churches and religious agencies. Social activities take one away from home. One out of four mothers with dependent children is now employed outside the home. Reportedly more married women than single women are now in the working force. Consequently families are seldom together any more and parental authority is almost non-existent.”

A sociologist declared recently that, “the occupation of father is almost as obsolete as harness maker or blacksmith.” And more often than we would like to admit we hear statements about mothers “abdicating their traditional role.” Once it was economically profitable to a man to have a wife and children. Today, they are a financial burden to him. Furthermore, a wife can support herself and is not dependent on a husband. Strong religious and social pressures that once kept couples together have all but dissipated. So weak is the bond between parent and child today that a married man or woman often feels no obligation to honor his father and mother. When the married couple has to share a house with aged parents this is generally regarded as a tragedy.”

Revolutions and wars keep families in constant turmoil. Military service and war take young men and women from their families. Anticolonial drives have forced many to leave their homes, disrupting family life. Hundreds of thousands of refugees jam the Middle East. Everywhere people are on the move. In the United States 8 million children moved from home to home. One fifth of the native population lives in a different state from its birth and one out of every five adults changes his residence each year. This constant shifting of population has a tendency to drive a wedge between young married people and their respective parental families.”

The instability of family life is reflected in the literature of our day. In fact, one observer stated that a foreigner reading popular novels and magazines printed in the United States about its life would “picture the American family circle as an assemblage of delinquents and neurotics — flying apart at the seams under the influences of TV, divorce court scandals, liquor and narcotics consumptions.” Of course, this is not altogether a true picture but it comes mighty close.”

ATTITUDES TOWARD MARRIAGE”

As for the divorce rate, in Sweden it has risen “by more than 100 per cent in the past decade and by 1,000 per cent in the last score. Recent reports from England show that the divorce rate actually multiplied by ten in ten years.” The average number of divorces for every hundred marriages in the United States in the 1881–1890 decade had increased 466 percent by the 1940 decade. Approximately one out of very four marriages ends in divorce today in our country….”

JUVENILE DELINQUENCY”

Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, J. Edgar Hoover said, “Self-indulgence and placing pleasure before duty on a vast and growing scale have become phenomenon of this adult world.””

“These are warning symptons of the decadence disease,” he stated, “which has contributed to the decay of so many civilizations throughout history.” Right now these are undermining family life by fostering undisciplined and immoral youth.”

“These children,” said Hoover, “are victims of a society which as substituted indulgence for discipline. They are the victims of a breakdown of authority and moral standards in the home, in the neighborhood and — too frequently — in the entire community. And they are the victims of those practitioners of expediency who have blurred the lines between right and wrong, good and evil. So in large part the juvenile delinquent is a by-product of our self-indulgent age.” …”

There is no question that family life needs strengthening, but how? There must be a going back to basic principles that make for wholesome family living. The Bible provides these principles. To be helpful they must be applied. Note what it has to say about husband and wife relationship: “You wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as it is becoming in the Lord.” And again : “The wife should have deep respect for her husband.””

If the wife so deports herself she is not a boss or a leader. And if she does so deport herself willingly and gladly, knowing that it is to her best interest, then the family gains in strength from the harmony that such conduct creates. Think of the many differences and heart-aches such willing submission would eliminate. (Col. 3:18; Eph. 5:33)”

To the husbands the Bible says: “You husbands, keep on loving your wives and do not be bitter or angry with them.” If husbands would obey this injunction, what a blessing it would be to wives! “In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh, but he feeds and cherishes it.” Husbands are not to abuse their wives but are to provide for them and love them tenderly.” “Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.” (Heb: 13:4)”

The Bible also speaks plainly about parent-children relationship. Read Eph. 6:4. To the children the Bible commands them to honor their parents and to obey them that are in the family of God. It is a well known fact that if parents fulfill their role, children will more often fulfill theirs. To parents who set the example, and who properly discharged their obligation, delinquency is no problem. (Col. 3:20)”

Now if families would follow these instructions closely, life would be much happier for them. Delinquency problems would no doubt fade away, divorces and broken homes would be quite a lot less, feelings of anxiety and frustation would be eliminated. To the extent that God’s ways are applied, to that extent the family is made happy.”

Happy family home life can be your happy lot and the lot of every family on earth. The requirement is simple — apply Bible principles in your life. Associate your home life with the Bible as the principle and focal point of the home. Boiled down to a few words, strengthening the family is a matter of learning about and respecting the Author of the family, namely the Father in heaven. It amounts to loving the Father exclusively and one’s family as oneself.”

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