SEEKING AFTER GOD

It were my heaven till I come home, even to spend this life in gathering in some to Christ. I have still great heaviness for my silence, and my forced standing idle in the market, when this land has such a plentiful thick harvest; but I know that His judgments, who has done it, we past finding out. I have no knowledge to take up the Lord in all His strange ways, and passages of deep and unsearchable providences; for the Lord is before me, and I am so be-misted that I cannot follow Him; He is behind me, and following at my heels, and I am not aware of Him; He is above me, but His glory so dazzles my twilight of short knowledge that I cannot look up to Him; He is upon my right hand, and within me, and comes and goes, and His coming and going are a dream to me; He is round about me, and compasses all my goings, and still I have to seek Him; He is every way higher and deeper and broader than the shall ow and handbreadth of my short and dim light can take up; and, therefore, I would that my heart could be silent, and sit down in learnedly-ignorant wondering at the Lord whom men and angels cannot comprehend. I know that the noon-day light of the highest angels who see Him face to face, sees not the borders of His infiniteness. They apprehend God near at hand, but they cannot comprehend Him. And, therefore, it is my happiness to look afar off, and to come near to the Lord’s back parts, and to light my dark candle at His brightness, and to have leave to sit and content myself with a traveller’s light, without the clear vision of an enjoyer. I would seek no more till I were in my country than a little watering and sprinkling of a withered soul, with some out-breakings and half out-lookings of the beams, and small ravishing smiles of the fairest face of a revealed and believed-on Godhead. ... Oh! let this bit of love of ours, this inch-and-half span length of heavenly longing meet with Thy infinite love!

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